Your Guide to Understanding Christian Grief Counseling
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How Christian Grief Counseling Can Help
We wish we could say or do something that could make the pain of your loss disappear, but we know that no words can erase the sense of loss you feel. Whether you’re grieving the loss of a loved one, a pet, a job, sound health, or something else, recovering from a startling and stunning jolt of sadness is a process that takes time.
At Light Counseling, we have a passion for helping people healthily process the stages of grief—and we can help you, too. While the heartfelt condolence of friends and family serves a vital role in the healing journey, meeting with a grief counselor can help you learn about the grieving process, understand your feelings, and process the loss you’re experiencing in a manageable way.
With online grief counseling available through Light Counseling+, we take the challenging part out of meeting a grief therapist by bringing counseling to your living room. We also have offices throughout Virginia and New York, including our office in Forest for grief counseling in Lynchburg and our Colonial Heights office serving Petersburg and the Tri-Cities.
It’s easy to feel that all is lost during a season of grief, but that isn’t the case. Meeting with one of our counselors can help you find light amidst the clouds that loom over you, healing in a place of hurting and closure as you move forward with loving remembrance and Christlike direction.
Types of Loss We Help With
Grief is not only about death, and no loss is too small to bring to counseling. Our counselors regularly help people through:
Loss of a spouse or partner
Losing a husband or wife changes daily life, identity and plans for the future all at once. Counseling gives you a steady place to grieve while you work out what life looks like now.
Loss of a parent
Whether the death was expected or sudden, losing a mother or father can stir up old family history alongside the grief. We help you make room for both.
Loss of a child
The death of a child, at any age, is one of the hardest losses a person can face. Our counselors work with grieving parents and with the brothers and sisters left behind.
Miscarriage, stillbirth and pregnancy loss
Pregnancy loss is often grieved quietly, because others may not know or may not know what to say. We treat it as the real loss it is, for mothers and for fathers.
Sudden or traumatic loss
Deaths from accidents, overdose, suicide or violence can leave images and questions that replay for months. When grief and trauma tangle together, we may bring in trauma-focused care such as EMDR therapy.
Anticipatory grief
Grief can begin before a death, while you care for someone with a terminal illness or dementia. Counseling helps you carry it now instead of waiting until afterward.
Other losses
Divorce, a diagnosis, a job, a home, a friendship, a church community or a pet. These losses are real too, and they deserve care.
Signs Grief Counseling Could Help
It’s understandable, healthy, and essential to grieve during the first bit of time after a difficult loss. However, if the worst grief feelings persist for a prolonged time, you may want to consider talking with one of our Christian grief counselors. Here are a few common symptoms of grief that may indicate you could benefit from meeting with a grief counselor:
- Avoidance of things that remind you of the person or thing you lost
- Difficulty completing routine tasks
- Guilt and self-blame
- Intense and persistent sadness
- Loss of interest in activities once enjoyed
- Loss of purpose and meaning
- Trouble sleeping
including our Christiansburg, VA office.
When Grief Gets Stuck: Prolonged and Traumatic Grief
For most people, the sharpest pain of grief softens over time, even though the loss never stops mattering. For some, it does not. In 2022 the DSM-5-TR, the manual clinicians use to diagnose mental health conditions, added prolonged grief disorder: grief that stays intense and disabling at least 12 months after a death for adults, or 6 months for children and teens.
Signs grief may be stuck:
- Intense longing for the person, or being preoccupied with them, nearly every day
- Feeling as though part of you died too, or not knowing who you are now
- Avoiding anything that reminds you the person is gone
- Feeling numb, or unable to rejoin life, plan ahead or trust others
- Pain, guilt or bitterness about the death that is not easing
If you recognize yourself here, it is not a lack of faith or strength. Prolonged grief responds to treatment. When a death was traumatic and the moment of the loss keeps replaying, our clinicians may recommend EMDR therapy with Laura Holmes, our EMDRIA Certified Therapist, so that you can remember the person without the worst moment playing on repeat. Our trauma and PTSD counseling page explains more about how trauma and grief overlap.
What Christian Grief Counseling Looks Like Here
Your first session is mostly listening. Your counselor will ask about the person or the thing you lost, what has happened since, how you are sleeping and getting through the day, and who is supporting you. Together you decide what you want from counseling.
From there, sessions draw on approaches with research behind them, chosen for your situation:
- Grief-focused counseling that helps you tell the story of the loss and make sense of it
- Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for guilt, "what if" thinking and habits that keep you stuck
- Meaning-making work: finding a way to carry the relationship forward rather than "getting over" it
- Trauma-focused care, including EMDR, when a death was sudden or traumatic
- Practical support for sleep, anniversaries, holidays and decisions you are not ready to make
Faith comes in as far as you want it to. For many clients that means lament, which is bringing honest grief and even anger to God the way the Psalms do, prayer in session, and Scripture that speaks to sorrow without rushing it. For others it simply means a counselor who understands their faith. You do not need to be a Christian to see us.
Several of our counselors have also led GriefShare, the church-based grief recovery program, so they know how counseling and church support can work together.
Our Grief Counselors
These counselors list grief among their specialties. Our intake team will confirm who has openings at your nearest office or by telehealth.
Dave Wriston, LCSW
Grief counseling is his passion; he co-facilitated a GriefShare program at a local church for 10 years.
View Dave's profile
Laura Holmes, MA, LPC, CCTP-II
Trauma specialist whose work includes grief; GriefShare facilitator; provides EMDR for traumatic grief.
View Laura's profile
Doris DeMato, PhD, LPC
Helps clients through grief and loss, life transitions and family-of-origin concerns.
View Doris's profile
Amy Dillingham, MA, LPC
Works with grief and loss alongside anxiety, depression and life transitions.
View Amy's profile
Lynnette Shadoan, MA, LMFT, LPC
Treats grief, depression and anxiety, including family conflict after a loss.
View Lynnette's profile
What Sets Light Counseling Apart From Ordinary Christian Grief Counseling?
Committed to Clinical Excellence
At Light, our therapists hold advanced degrees and have experience helping people deal with grief and process their feelings healthily. Our Christian grief counselors employ a variety of theories and approaches to their work—all aimed at helping you accept the reality of your loss, grieve, and move forward. We understand that no two cases of grief are the same, and we are committed to walking alongside you throughout the grieving process for as long as it takes.
Rooted in the Christian Faith
From the moment you step into our office or log in to your online therapy session, you’ll have an environment free from judgment and full of genuine care and compassion. Whether you opt for in-person or online grief counseling, your therapist is ready to listen, understand, and gently guide you through your season of loss.
Contact a team member today for world-class Christian grief counseling.
Grief Counseling for Teens and Children
Children and teenagers grieve differently from adults. A grieving teen may seem angry, withdrawn or fine one day and fall apart the next, and grades or friendships often slip. Several of our counselors see preteens and teens, and a parent or guardian starts intake for anyone under 18. Learn more about our teen and adolescent counseling, or ask our intake team for a counselor who works with grieving kids.
Grief Counseling Near You and Online
You can see a grief counselor in person at any of our offices or by secure video from home.
- Forest office, serving Lynchburg and Central Virginia
- Glen Allen office, serving Richmond and Henrico County
- Colonial Heights office, serving Petersburg and the Tri-Cities
- Christiansburg office, serving Blacksburg and the New River Valley
- Liverpool office, serving Syracuse, New York
- Online grief counseling anywhere in Virginia by telehealth
We accept most major insurance plans, and grief counseling is billed like other outpatient counseling. Our intake team can check your benefits before your first session. You can also review our insurance information or ask about our sliding scale.
Christian Grief Counseling FAQs
What are the five stages of grief?
The five stages of grief, first described by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Denial is when the loss does not feel real yet. Anger is an understandable response to a loss that seems cruel and unfair. Bargaining is the “what if” stage, when people replay the past or try to make deals with themselves, others or God. Depression is when the permanence of the loss sinks in, and deep sadness, trouble eating and difficulty focusing can surface. Acceptance is when people acknowledge that life is different now and begin to turn a corner. The stages are not a checklist: most people move back and forth between them, skip some, or feel several at once. No two experiences of grief are the same, which is where talking with a counselor can help.
How long does grief typically last?
There is no set timeline. The sharpest pain often eases over the first year or two, though anniversaries, holidays and milestones can bring it back for years, and that is normal. If grief stays intense and keeps you from daily life a year or more after a death, it may be prolonged grief, which responds well to counseling. You do not have to wait that long to get support.
How long does grief counseling take?
It depends on the loss and on you. Some people come for a handful of sessions to get through the first months; others, especially after a sudden or traumatic loss, meet weekly for several months. Your counselor will check in with you about progress and what you want next, and you can space sessions out as things ease.
What are Christian grief counseling techniques?
Christian grief counseling uses the same evidence-based methods as any good grief counseling, such as telling the story of the loss, cognitive behavioral therapy for guilt and “what if” thinking, and meaning-making work, alongside faith practices when you want them. Those can include lament, which is bringing honest grief and even anger to God as the Psalms do, prayer in session, and Scripture that speaks to sorrow without rushing it. Your counselor follows your lead on how much faith is part of the work.
Do I have to be a Christian to see a grief counselor here?
No. Our counselors are licensed mental health professionals who use evidence-based grief counseling with every client. Faith-informed care is offered to anyone who wants it and required of no one. Tell us at intake how much, if at all, you want faith to be part of your sessions.
Is it normal to be angry at God after a loss?
Yes. Anger, including anger at God, is a common part of grief, and the Bible is full of people who brought their grief and complaints straight to God, from Job to the Psalms. A Christian grief counselor will not shame you for those questions. Bringing them into the open is often part of how faith and grief come back together.
What is the difference between grief and depression?
Grief and depression share symptoms such as sadness, poor sleep and loss of interest. In grief, the pain usually comes in waves tied to reminders of the person, and moments of warmth or even humor still happen. In depression, low mood and feelings of worthlessness tend to be constant and spread to everything. The two can also overlap. If you are not sure which you are facing, a counselor can help you sort it out. Our anxiety and depression counseling page has more.
Do you offer online grief therapy?
Yes. We offer online grief counseling by secure video anywhere in Virginia, so you can get quality Christian care even if you do not live near one of our offices. Many people find it easier to talk about a loss from home, especially in the early weeks.
What are some ways I can support someone who is grieving?
Spend time with them. Grief can be lonely and push people into isolation, so calls, visits and small practical help matter. Let them lead the conversation; a grieving person usually needs someone who listens more than someone with solutions or pep talks. Be patient, because grief takes time and being consistently available over months means more than one big gesture. And pray with them if they welcome it. Jesus said, “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them” (Matthew 18:20). Christ, the God of all comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3-4), is close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18) and with us in the darkest valley (Psalm 23:4).